Family Gatherings
Many folks I’ve been talking to in these last few weeks of 2023 are anticipating getting together with extended family. And a consistent theme has been “How do I deal with comments from family members about my body / weight / food choices?” There are some excellent resources out there, including a recent post from the amazing weight inclusive dietician and diabetes specialist, Erin Phillips, MPH, RD, CDCES.
And, I know a lot of parents are asking, “How do I deal with comments about my child’s body / weight / food choices?”
In the moment, we’re likely going to have a reaction to the comment and we want to respond. But we’ll only be able to make a decision about our response if we’re in our window of tolerance — where our nervous system isn’t too activated.
If you feel yourself start to panic, flush, feel angry, get queasy, heart starts beating faster, breaths get more shallow, brain fog appears, you’re at a loss for words, go numb or feel disconnected, your body might be reacting to a perceived sense of danger.
Before we can respond,
we need to regulate.
Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and splash some water on your face, do some box breathing, or text a friend to vent for a moment.
Excuse yourself to get a glass of water and count how many blue items you see along the way or find one item for each color of the rainbow.
Make a quick note of one thing you see, a sound, how it feels to stand or sit where you are, and a smell or taste.
If it doesn’t feel like you can regulate or the environment isn’t a safe one for you, there’s no need to respond. You can change the subject and choose to return to the comment later or not
I wrote this for the blog on my Fat Liberation Parenting site where you can read the rest: https://www.fatliberationparenting.com/resources-fat-liberation-parenting/family-gatherings-diet-culture-fat-phobia-responses